This is Module 3 from the "Mastering Human Factors in Engineering" workshop that Angela Dugan and I co-presented at VSLive Las Vegas 2026. (See also: Module 1: The Leadership Shift and Module 2: Why Does Everyone Hate Agile?.)
Don't Think of an Elephant
This is my favorite module to present because it changes things fast. The core idea comes from cognitive linguist George Lakoff: words create mental frames, and the brain has to process the thing before it can negate it. When Nixon said "I'm not a crook," everybody heard "crook." When you tell your team "stop introducing bugs," they hear "bugs."
I call it the mountain biking principle. When you're riding a trail and there's a rock in the path, you don't stare at the rock — you look where you want to go. Same with language. Talk about what you want, not what you're trying to avoid.
Enlisting vs. Telling
The second big idea in this module is the difference between enlisting and telling. "You need to work on..." creates resistance. "Things to consider..." creates alignment. It's a small shift in phrasing that changes the entire dynamic.
This connects back to the Cortez vs. pirate captain idea from Module 1. Cortez burned the ships — he eliminated all other options. That gets compliance, but it doesn't get buy-in. The pirate captain says "come with me, here's where we're going." Enlisting IS the alternative to burning ships.
Practical swaps: shift from "you" to "we" or "let's." State goals instead of solutions — "we need Y" instead of "build X." When you tell someone to build X, you've locked them into one path. When you tell them you need Y, you've given them room to self-organize.
Loss Aversion Is Real
The part of this module that I think lands hardest is the section on managing change without creating enemies. Even good change triggers loss aversion. People focus on what they're losing, even when the gains significantly outweigh the losses. If you skip the step of acknowledging what's being given up — "I know the old way was comfortable" — your mandate will fail. Every time.
At first, these word swaps feel clunky and deliberate. Then they become second nature. That's fluency — leadership becomes ambient, not performed. The words disappear. The culture remains.
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—Ben
